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the memory is gone... but the feeling remains [entries|friends|calendar]

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[17 Aug 2005|10:38pm]
why can't i let anything go............
i can't handle losing people.
finding a reason

[21 Jun 2005|12:31am]
[ mood | everything ]

my life is weird. the signs add up and point me in places that i dont know if i want to see. the world is small but feeling lost in it is easy and being insignificant is impossible. answers will never come just questions that build on questions that stay interesting and relevant because they can only be half explained. chris shey kat stuart michael fruit james james gay drunk wine bars music numbers dennis mike orcas questions answers doubts license plates you me everyone tied together, on the road, east to west, jack kerouac and groaning continents. my mind is becoming more like a drug and my reality keeps twisting and popping

2 reasons|finding a reason

[13 Jun 2005|01:24am]
maybe there is hope for us after all
finding a reason

[04 Jun 2005|12:55pm]
so these are the bands:

and of course, chris pureka....if you look her up on myspace you can listen to 3 of her songs in their entirety...she is seriously making me lesbian
finding a reason

[01 Jun 2005|01:09pm]
i'm in love:
finding a reason

[15 May 2005|02:30pm]
and she doesn't even know her boyfriend's a cheater
2 reasons|finding a reason

[02 May 2005|06:00pm]
so the guy taking my old roommate's spot is 30, hows that for being crazy?
finding a reason

[29 Apr 2005|04:27pm]
so i ran into an old friend today, who knows the guy in the last entry... every time i see her she has something negative to say about him, and she's totally not a negative person. so what she told me definitely has me thinking, maybe this guy is just not dating material AT ALL. meaning, i guess i don't care so much anymore about whether we can communicate, or be completely open, or all of those other dumb things girls care about so much. that actually are important when applied to the right person, but he's just not it for me. my eyes are fully opening for the first time.
5 reasons|finding a reason

[27 Apr 2005|10:54pm]
whats with guys that act like there's something between you but don't talk much when given the chance? especially when you've known them awhile, and it's like they expect you to bring them out of their shell. and it's not that they're a quiet person, for whatever reason they just try to keep everything always at bay. I DON'T GET IT. and i probably never will...which is maybe what's keeping me interested. i've always known that at some point we would be together but how is that ever going to happen if you don't show me who you really are. i see you so deeply while at the same time you're hiding from me. oh well, that way we are at least staying safe, and with you thats probably best.

oops..i guess this has turned into my ranting outlet. i swear i will post something lighter sometime soon. but it's my journal and yea i do what i want!
7 reasons|finding a reason

[23 Apr 2005|05:56pm]
you know, if i were in a band none of this would be a problem -- i'd have an outlet, i'd be moving forward, i'd have a purpose. listening to music and going to shows is huge but being on the other side of that, being the one to move people and inspire people would change everything. i'd be giving back instead of taking all the time and life would just feel more complete. it's harder to fade when you're in the spotlight.
1 reason|finding a reason

[18 Apr 2005|02:43pm]
you will NEVER see how messed up you are. which makes things easier for me but maybe if you knew you would change..or is it even in you. i hate it how we pretend to be friends when really i don't like you and you are threatened by me. not like it matters...there's no way out of it for either one of us so i will somehow have to find a way to deal with you. why can't you live in reality, instead of the sad, sad world you have created for yourself. its scary to see that you don't even know yourself, or me, or only see what you want.
2 reasons|finding a reason

[12 Apr 2005|07:36pm]

but i don't think we will ever reach a breaking point
3 reasons|finding a reason

[15 Mar 2005|07:59pm]
to everyone that has been trying to call me:
my phone is dead and i don't have a charger. i'll be getting it tomorrow in the mail so as soon as i can i will call you. i know you've missed me but i'll be back soon :D

2 reasons|finding a reason

[10 Mar 2005|10:14am]
Hmm since I'm skipping class again lets update! It was fun having Nikola here last weekend, I miss her! We watched Party Monster, and the love of my life aka Macaulay Caulkin was, of course, incredible. We're kind of starting to plan our trip to California this summer, which brings me to my next point...

RoundAbout + Something Corporate = show in California! They're also going to be on a soundtrack for a movie coming out w/Mandy Moore and William Shatner. I can now die happy. Shannon, Jessica, hopefully Orianne and I are all going to fly down for the show at the end of the month. AH
2 reasons|finding a reason

[06 Mar 2005|11:35pm]
finding a reason

[02 Mar 2005|12:49pm]
[ mood | content ]

look everyone i'm updating! actually it's more like this is my last form of procrastination before i start studying...

so i feel like i have senioritis even though i'm not even done with my sophomore year. the only way i go to class is if i bribe myself into getting a coffee afterward as a reward. is that sick?

my weekends have been rocking lately - going to see roundabout in portland, having jessica come up for the
day, and this weekend i get to see nikola. oh yeah and then monday - MORE roundabout. ah. life is so good.

5 reasons|finding a reason

[20 Feb 2005|06:40pm]
Many thanks to Jessica and Shannon for making this amazing lj for me! I never would have done it myself and um, it's pretty much perfect. I'm still a little clumsy on this thing...I accidentally deleted the first entry they put on here :( Not sure how I pulled that off. Anyway, this weekend was incredible and I will update about our road trip later, after I get much needed sleep and coffee.

And if you didn't know, the background is a picture of RoundAbout. :)
5 reasons|finding a reason

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